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Profile photo of esthiana_24148
 
  esthiana_24148 2016:08:26 16:37:28

Three guys entered a taxi. d taxi driver knew that they where drunk so he started the engine & turned it of again. then said, ”we have reach your destination”.

the 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said ” thank you” the 3rd guy slapped the driver
the driver was shocked thinking the 3rd guy knew what he did. but then he asked” what was that 4 the 3rd guy replied “‘ control your speed next time, you nearly killed us

Profile photo of esthiana_24148
 
  esthiana_24148 2016:08:26 16:15:51

THEY SAY WE LEARN 4FRM OUR MISTAKES……. THT Y I’M MAKING AS MANY AS POSSIBLE I’LL SOON B GENIUS

Be the 1st to vote.
Profile photo of leonardo_18777
 
  leonardo_18777 2016:07:26 19:24:02

Sardar ji is buying a TV
Do you have color TVs?
Sure.
Give me a green one, plz.

Profile photo of leonardo_18777
 
  leonardo_18777 2016:07:26 15:12:46

‘Boy 2 God: Give me a pocket full of money,
A job & a big vehicle full of girls.
God replied:your wish is fullfilled
&
He became a bus conductor of karachi university point.:p

Profile photo of rachel_65
 
  rachel_65 2016:06:23 11:53:48

Their asses
Yes their lazy asses 😀
To those lazy asses that crowd around one door while some other doors were available to use for boarding but failed to use them. The train has been scheduled to run to time and therefore, wait for no one. This is a stark irony of life. Time wait for no one. Perhaps, a change in mindset may be what you need to launch your career and make some tangible progress in life.
Act wisely, reasonably and responsibly.

Profile photo of gopi_14874
 
  gopi_14874 2016:06:14 11:00:07

Once upon a time, there lives an elephant and a mouse. One day a mouse came to the elephant house and asked him to sit down and stand up respectively. After doing that for 5 min an elephant ask mouse why he asked him to stand up and stand down? Mouse reply. ” To check if you’re wearing my pants or not”.

Profile photo of Olux
 
  Olux 2016:05:03 08:43:01

At a train station, a man was standing directly in front of the cabin door used by Train Dispatchers otherwise called Station Assistants. The man stood over two buckets of paint. What happened next will shock you.

Station Assistant: She knocked on the cabin’s glass door to attract the attention of the passenger.

Passenger: Do you want to come out of the door?

Station Assistant: Yes.

Passenger: Do you want me to remove the buckets? Of course he knew there was no way the door could open without removing the buckets and he himself staying clear of the door way.

Station Assistant: Yes.

Passenger: Please.

Station Assistant: Please for what.

Passenger: You need to be polite.

Seriously, it won’t be long before one had to beg some stupid people to allow you access to your own door … smh.

.

Profile photo of antoniette_2448
 
  antoniette_2448 2016:05:02 09:11:09

A freelance journalist was interviewing people on the street about how romantic they are and how do they make romance to their women. Here’s what a guy said:

Journalist: How do you romance your woman?

Guy: I kiss them passionately, fondle their boobs, finger them and make them wet before inserting my d**k into their sweet pussy.

Journalist: That’s incredible! When you said “them”, how many women do you have?

Guy: I used to have four but now I am left with one.

Journalist: Interesting! What happened to the other three?

Guy: One travelled to Libya, one broke my heart, I broke the heart of one, I wanted to break the heart of this one but she wouldn’t let me (lol)

Journalist: That’s hilarious, you sound so funny. I wish you good luck.

Guy: Thank you, thank you 🙂

Profile photo of jennifer_1993
 
  jennifer_1993 2016:04:28 18:56:28

Mum: Asked her son to tell his dad that she’d finished using the computer.

Son: Ok mum. He went to his dad and said: Dad said she’d finished using the computer.

Dad: A somewhat confused dad looked in awe and said to himself, “How many dads do we have in this home?”

Profile photo of jennifer_1993
 
  jennifer_1993 2016:02:06 14:14:36

Joe: Who the f**k keeps books in their garage?
Tom: Someone that lives in their garage and sublet the rest of their house so that they can earn enough money to buy Lamborghini. DUH.

Profile photo of jennifer_1993
 
  jennifer_1993 2016:01:24 09:18:52

Joe: Saw Marshall sporting a “Baby on board” badge on his jacket which is usually worn by pregnant women. He asked: “When are you due?
Marshall: Dunno, just fooling around.
Tom: “Elton John”, he quipped.
Joe: Ha ha ha … He wouldn’t stop amusing me.

Profile photo of jennifer_1993
 
  jennifer_1993 2016:01:24 07:10:38

Joe: Good morning Marshal.
Marshall: Morning Mr. Trouble.
Joe: But I don’t make trouble.
Marshall: You don’t have to make trouble.
Joe: Bursted into laughter. Bystanders out of curiosity turned their attention to the duo.
Marshall: See, you already making trouble.

Profile photo of rose_44
 
  rose_44 2015:09:10 14:32:13

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?” Johnny says, “None.” The teacher asks, “Why?” Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.” The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.” Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?” The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.” Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”

Originally posted by rockabillyray

Profile photo of Olux
 
  Olux 2015:09:09 18:16:33

Wife: “How would you describe me?”
Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.”
Wife: “What does that mean?”
Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”
Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”
Husband: “I’m just kidding!”

Author: Tiya.
Culled from: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/2
Wed 09/09/2015